From a very young age, we have been inundated with Hollywood images of “happily ever after”.
As a chubby twelve year old I ached and wished for a prince. I used
to think that all of my problems would dissolve if I could just find a man to
love me. I even developed a crush on Prince Harry at one stage, thinking that
maybe I could be royalty all on my own. Hey every little Aussie girl wants
their Princess Mary fairytale right?
As I got a little older, I realised that my “happily ever after”,
would not just fall into my lap.
Those that know me may roll their eyes. I may be one of the “lucky
ones”. I met my Prince Charming at nineteen years old.
My (now husband) even proposed in an incredibly romantic way, getting
down on one knee, after an afternoon of strolling through the autumn New York
City streets, and ice-skating at Rockefeller Centre. We had a dream wedding and
purchased our first home together last year
I am incredibly and phenomenally loved by this exceptionally beautiful
man. He made me a more understanding, fair, calm and rational person and taught
me to always share what I am feeling. In my few years of dating, I had my fair
share of toxic relationships with men, who made me a much lesser version of
myself. The best thing about him is that he makes me the absolute best version
of myself.
Since being with him, I have not fallen into the trap that some
people do, getting comfortable and taking less care of myself. He would love me
no matter how I looked, but I think it’s incredibly important to keep fit,
happy and healthy for my own well-being. He is incredibly encouraging of me,
and having a healthy and happy relationship means that your partner encourages
you to do what makes you content and to be the best you can be.
I still have my fair share of self-esteem issues from a childhood of
bullying, taunting at the hands of some not so nice people. And truly believe
that finding your “happily ever after”, is really about finding yourself,
whether inside, or outside of a relationship, and loving yourself.
Your self-esteem and
happiness should in no way be tied to whether or not you have a partner. Can
your “happily ever after” mean having a life full of self-discovery, personal
growth and happiness without a partner? Abso-freaking-lutely.
Can a life dedicated to health,
fitness, travel, learning, dedicating yourself to a cause, a passion, a hobby (or
whatever your pleasure and self-satisfaction may entail) be YOUR happily ever
after?
The deep-rooted, societal
belief that to live out your days happily, requires you to be married to your
soul mate and grow old together is lovely, but may be outdated and not
necessarily for everyone. Some are lucky to find a life partner, someone who
will love them unconditionally, but
many are lucky to draw this unwavering support from family and friends too. It
is important to realise that people that we perceive to have a perfect life are
likely to have their own battles and challenges with health, finances or other
suffering and loss.
Open your heart and mind to
whatever life brings you and have realistic expectations. By my definition, a “happily
ever after” is living positively and efficaciously as you define achievement
and success and ultimately to love yourself and be content with what you have
and who you are.
Tips for getting YOUR happily ever after;
- Do something new, that may scare you at first, but that you have always wanted to do.
- Do things that make YOU happy, and be the best version of you, not to impress other people, but so you feel good about yourself.
- Write a list of the things that make you happy, and refer to this if you find that you are going off course.
- Have realistic goals about what you want to achieve and for your future.
- Be healthy.
- Put your time and feeling into the relationships (friends, family, partner) that make you feel good and less into those that don’t.
- In a similar vein, let go of the things that no longer make you happy, or bring you down.
- Let go of the stereotypical, fairytale notion of “happily ever after”, and have faith that things will fall into place.
A big thankyou to the few girls on twitter who also helped with my research xxx
